


Nightmares

by phenomenology



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3907783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phenomenology/pseuds/phenomenology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a battle, Kanan remembers a time when he and Hera spent the night together and he had a nightmare; or one time Hera comforted Kanan and one time she wasn't able to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candiedrhododendrons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candiedrhododendrons/gifts).



> I'll be honest, I completely for I wrote this for candiedrhododendrons and I found it while going through some documents. Enjoy!

_Blasters in the distance, lightsabers whirring with movement, shouts and cries of the defiant and the dying, but his entire universe, all of his senses, had shrunken down to that one fixed point to where she had fallen…_

Saying that it had been a long day was an extreme understatement. Hera’s eyelids were heavy and her booted feet dragged along the metal flooring of the _Ghost’s_ corridor, which was beginning to look mighty comfortable to Hera. Stifling a yawn, Hera looked down the hall at her door and let out a quiet groan at how far away it seemed. Though somehow, she still managed to shuffle her way over.

When she trudged into her room, Hera took off her gloves and goggles, tossing them onto the nearby desk. She then kicked her boots off in the general direction of the side of her room. Hera then proceeded to flop down on her stomach onto her bed, letting out a huge yawn. She let her eyes flutter shut as she started to drift off to sleep, a content, sleepy sigh slipping out of her.

Moments later, a knock at her door caused Hera to angrily let out a groan and push herself up so she could stomp over to her door and open it. As the door slid back, she reflexively snapped out a ferocious, “What?”

Hera was met with the startled expression on Kanan’s face and she let out a weary sigh. Slumping against the doorframe, Hera ran a gloveless hand over her face and yawned again as she rubbed at her eyes. She looked Kanan up and down, noticing that he had removed his shoulder armor and changed his shirt for the night. He was also holding a mug of her favorite warm drink and she felt guilty about snapping at him.

“Sorry, dear,” she mumbled sleepily. “It’s been a long day.”

Kanan’s startled expression melted into a kind, understanding smile and he chuckled softly.

“I figured. It’s been a bit of a long day for all of us. I just checked on Ezra and Zeb, both of them are dead asleep.”

Hera laughed softly and gestured for Kanan to come in as she walked back over to her bed and sat down heavily. “Did you need something, love?” she managed to get out around another large yawn.

Kanan sat down next to Hera and offered her the mug, saying, “Just thought you might need this.” Hera took a sip and hummed with satisfaction, the warm liquid soothing her frayed nerves. The Twi’lek leaned into Kanan’s shoulder with a gentle sigh.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, her whole body feeling weighed down with exhaustion. “I needed that.”

Kanan hummed in response and Hera sat up, studying his face. Kanan’s forehead was slightly creased with worry lines and his eyes were unfocused. He looked the same as when he was meditating, just ever so slightly out of touch with everything around him.

“Kanan?” Hera said gently, sliding her hand onto his shoulder, drawing his attention to her. “Are you alright?”

Kanan nodded his head and rubbed at his temples with his fingers. “Yeah, I’m okay. I was just…thinking about Ezra. I know that he’s a good kid and I know you’ve told me over and over that I’m making the right choice. But I still can’t help this feeling that I have. Like, something is going to just go horribly wrong one day and we’ll be right back to square one.”

Hera set aside her mug, her exhaustion momentarily forgotten as she gently flicked Kanan’s chin. He looked at her, pale green eyes blinking in surprise, and raised an eyebrow in question.

“What was that for?” he said, a hint of a chuckle evident in his voice.

Hera put her hand on Kanan’s shoulder again and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She offered Kanan a small smile and said, “You worry too much. Ezra adores you, he trusts you. All that you need to do is trust in yourself, and the Force,” she said teasingly. “And everything will be fine.”

Kanan smiled and reached up, squeezing the hand that Hera had on his shoulder, their fingers intertwining slightly with the motion. They sat there smiling at one another for a few more moments before silently crawling into Hera’s bed. The pair tucked themselves comfortably underneath the blanket, back to back.

Kanan’s broad back was warm against Hera’s, strong and reassuring, supporting her as she pressed softly against his back. Their feet were intertwined at the ankles and Hera noticed how cold her toes felt against Kanan’s skin and she hoped he didn’t mind.

Hera yawned yet again and finally felt settled enough to drift off to sleep with Kanan’s presence grounding her.

* * *

Hera struggled to the surface of consciousness, something having disturbed her sleep. She wasn’t quite sure how long she had been asleep or what had woken her up. Blinking her heavy eyelids rapidly, Hera tried to wake herself up so she could figure out what had woken her.

As she was attempting to rouse herself, a noise from beside her made Hera sit up and look around. Halfway through sitting up, Hera’s hip bumped into something beside her and she guessed that was the source of the disturbance. Adjusting her position, Hera’s eyes found Kanan fast asleep next to her and she remembered that they had fallen asleep together.

Looking at him, Hera noticed he was twisted up in the blanket, his face contorted in fear and beaded with sweat. Hera watched him for a moment as the fear morphed into terror on his sleeping face. She was reaching out for his shoulder when he suddenly jerked around a bit, further ensnaring himself in the blanket.

“Kanan,” Hera whispered, concern for him throbbing through her as she grabbed his shoulder and gave him a little shake. “Kanan, wake up. It’s just a dream.” Hera hadn’t seen Kanan like this in a long time and she couldn’t help but think of those horrible nightmares that used to keep Kanan awake for days.

Suddenly Kanan’s thrashing became more violent, causing Hera to release his shoulder and duck out of the way. She hadn’t realized how close to the edge of the bed she was and her movement sent her tumbling to the floor. She landed on her hip rather harshly, leaving Hera hissing through clenched teeth.

“Master!” Kanan cried out, his voice laced with the terror of a young boy. “No!” Kanan choked out around a sob. His hands clenched into fists around the blanket, bunching up the fabric in his grip as if it were a lifeline that could draw him out of whatever terror he was re-living in his nightmare.

As Kanan continued to thrash and cry out, Hera sat up and crawled back into bed. She moved in closer again and grabbed Kanan’s arm, shaking him frantically as she called out his name. “Kanan! It’s just a nightmare! Wake up!” As Hera called out to him, she silently thanked whatever higher being was out there that her room had soundproofed walls. She hated the idea of having the rest of her crew come running in and therefore put Kanan on the spot.

“Kanan!” Hera cried out again, desperation thick in her voice. “Wake up!”

Hera felt her nerves starting to unravel, making her head feel fuzzy and her mind uncertain. She gave Kanan a rough shake and called out his name frantically. Hera leapt backwards again, careful not to fall, as Kanan bolted upright. He scrambled out of bed, summoned his lightsaber from the table, and activated it in one swift, fluid motion. Kanan’s chest heaved as he gasped for breath, his pale eyes wild with fear and every muscle tense. Hera slowly stood and stepped around his saber, reaching for Kanan’s hands.

“Kanan,” she said softly, her voice trembling but gentle, the obvious crack as she said his name betraying her fear. “Kanan it’s alright. It was just a nightmare. I'm here, you’re on the _Ghost,_ and everything is okay.”

Kanan’s eyes were unfocused again as he stared at the hopeless tangle of sheets on the bed in front of him. He stared unseeingly, as if the inanimate object were the thing that he could hold responsible for his nightmare.

“Kanan,” Hera said, her voice barely louder than Kanan’s wheezing, panicked breaths. Reaching out, Hera cautiously slipped her shaky hand over top of Kanan’s, feeling the tension in the way his bones and knuckles stuck out along the surface of his hand.

“Kanan,” Hera said again, her voice steadier, but the little crack of desperation halfway through his name was still there. “Put down your saber.”

Slowly, the wild light dimmed as Kanan’s head turned toward Hera, his eyes managing to focus on her. Blinking, Kanan looked down at his saber, slightly startled that he was holding it. He deactivated his saber and gingerly placed it back on the table, as if it might explode.

Hera placed her hand on Kanan’s shoulder and looked up at him. The question hanging between them didn’t need to be put into words as Kanan slumped down onto the bed and put his head in his hands. A shaky exhale, that almost sounded like a sob, left his body with a slight wracking of his chest as Hera sat down beside him.

Hera took one of Kanan’s hands in her own and rubbed small, soothing circles across the back of his hand. Her thumb dragged over Kanan’s cool skin, her finger dipping slightly in between the bones as she trained her eyes on Kanan’s face. The room was silent apart from Kanan’s still slightly unsteady breaths.

“It was the day the Order fell,” Kanan finally whispered in a scratchy voice. “I was a boy again, watching my Master’s back as she fought to defend me. Only this time, I didn’t listen to her when she told me to run. I tried to stay with her, to fight by her side because I knew that running would mean I would probably never see her again. It wasn’t fair that we had barely had any time to train together. I didn’t want to leave. I knew that if I ran…I would be a coward.” Kanan paused and took in a shaky breath, finally lifting his pained green eyes to Hera. “So instead I stayed and watched her die. And then they killed me.”

Hera let go of Kanan’s hand and cupped his face in her hands, gently forcing him to keep looking at her.

“It was just a nightmare,” she whispered, her eyes fixed on his. The pain was so intense in his pale green irises that Hera almost broke herself, but she continued, not breaking her hold. “It was just a nightmare and you’re safe now. You’re on the _Ghost_ with me. Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb are here too. And Chopper,” she added with a smile.

Kanan blinked and let out a small sigh before saying quietly, “I’m looking for a positive here.” His response drew a genuine laugh from Hera as she shook her head and rolled her eyes. Kanan’s lips curved upward a little at her melodious laugh. Hera removed her hands from his face in favor of taking hold of his hands again.

“Everything will be okay, Kanan,” she said empathetically, her smile pulling her lips upward and offering Kanan serenity. “I promise.”

_He slid to her side, ignoring the burn on his knees from the impact. Scooping her up in his arms, her limp arms now only gravity’s victim and her once proud garments soaked in her own blood from the blaster wound. None of this mattered to him as he held her head steady and stared at her face, imploring her to open her eyes and reassure him that everything would be okay._

_“Please,” he whispered as he hugged her tightly to his chest. Her head lolled back and her lekku dipped with the motion, reaching for the ground as he sobbed into her lifeless body._

_“You promised everything would be okay.”_


End file.
